My Novels

Monday, January 14, 2013

Raw Wintry Day

Gales of wind, hard down-pouring rain and only in the mid-30s! An awful day following several similar days. We're having flooding all around, and even my backyard, which slants downward, is beginning to have small pools of water. Glad I don't live in a low-lying area, I'd be afraid. The ground is saturated, splashes when you walk in the dead winter grass. Ugh.

I miss the daily walk with my dogs, feeling achy from not getting any exercise in a couple days. May do some simple stretching exercises later, need to move more than basic housework.

I've been reading, since I have several e-books on my tablet.

Early this morning I talked to one of the counselors who leads the group cognitive therapy. I called to make sure the letter I'd sent my therapist (cancelling today's session) had arrived. He said it had, and told me they all missed me in group. I was always quick to speak up in group when he asked questions, and often that started others talking. Otherwise, you had a bunch of court-ordered silent, stubborn people with their arms crossed over their chests angrily, as if never a word would escape their clenched mouth. Nice. NOT.

I wrote a long letter to my therapist explaining why, for now, I wasn't going to see her. I do better expressing myself in a letter, and wanted to assure her that I'm feeling stronger, trying to put the drinking in my past. This is my way of dealing with a bad episode in my life, though I will never forget the lessons learned. I told her she could put the letter in my file for reference. And that if I feel in need of counseling, I'd be sure to call for an appointment. Some closure for her -- and myself, I hope.

This morning I also had a brief visit by a lady representative from a local funeral home. I'd received a card from this place (where my husband's funeral/cremation was) and checked on it I was interested in talking with someone. She didn't stay too long, but I outlined what I want in a pre-arrangement package: cremation, with interment of both my & late husband's ashes buried near my paternal grandparents. A small marker with our names, nothing expensive. She will be back later in the week to present some options.

I have decided to do this now, since it'd be easier on whatever family I have left when I die. Having no children, spouse deceased, it'd be a burden on my sisters and/or nieces/nephews...which could cause discord among them. I'm not religious, and favor a memorial or grave-side service only (some family members are extremely religious). Maybe I'll be around a long time before this will be needed, but still, the funds in it cannot be touched by debt or a nursing home. So there's that...

Now for a brief writing prompt:

Name one thing you feel brings out the best in people.

I could never improve on what the alien in Starman says to Jenny Hayden:

"You are at your very best when things are worst."

Off to read more and watch the dogs piled on the couch snoozing away this frigid, rainy day.

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