My Novels

Sunday, November 15, 2020

The future, the past, the here & now

Sometimes I sit here in the afternoons, and a slant of the sunlight, an old song's as if the past is the present. I've lived in this house forty years, and not a lot has changed -- some updates, etc. but still basically the same. The yard and surroundings haven't changed much either, so it's easy to slip back in time and imagine it is just another day in the 80s or 90s when I was writing fiction, thinking of what to have for dinner when my late husband would be coming home. Autumn/winter are always my sad times, the loss of him especially keen since he died in late February. Next year it will be fifteen years, yet at times, it's as if it never happened. Or perhaps this is an aging flashback, as the years accumulate. 

I have peace, if nothing else. For so many years life was hectic (especially my time at the newspaper) or with extended family ups and downs and I'd wish fervently for PEACE! And though I know some people (extroverts) would find my life b-o-r-i-n-g!, I have the time and means to pursue knowledge -- the internet can be an amazing resource IF you know how to use it for knowledge. At some point, I'm sure I'll start another story; I have a good idea, and doing some research. A Gothic ghost story, methinks.

As for the future, thank the stars, and the GOOD people, of our country we smacked that wanna-be dictator down hard. Oh, Trump won't go quietly -- but go he will, even if kicking and screaming. My deepest wish is that he goes to some dark corner of the internet, and those nutty cult followers crawl back under that big, big rock they came out of. Life can then get back to some semblance of normal. Biden can tackle the still-raging Covid pandemic, with hopefully a vaccine soon, and economic recovery -- but not at the expense of human lives!

I am still somewhat isolating, though I do go buy groceries/necessities, with masking/distancing/etc. And I have no plans with family for the upcoming holidays, though in recent years I only got together with my two sisters to dine out. Otherwise, I think I've adjusted to less association with people; of course, I've always been somewhat of a loner, and now more so than ever. I do miss library outings, and occasional shopping without feeling as if it's a danger akin to the chance of being murdered! Sigh. 

What else? I'll be 69 in early December! My main concern these days is figuring out how I want to live as I age. I'm still capable of taking care of my house, hiring maintenance (though that is getting more and more expensive), and in general living here. However, I am torn between selling this house and maybe renting a small apartment, or buying a condo. And then, if I live long enough, assisted living is definitely on my radar. I've had a stay in rehab at one point, and it was a senior facility; it was NICE having others take care of me. The past fourteen years have been tiresome due to the responsibility of ALWAYS making every decision myself, etc. Yes, I'm fiercely independent, but on the other hand, when frailty comes (as it does for all the elderly if they live long enough), I have no qualms about assisted living. In fact, I keep tabs on all the local ASL facilities, just in case I need to go or want to choose before it becomes a dire need. 

Gosh, so boring. Things old folks ponder. But hey, if YOU live long enough, you'll get here too!

Muffin is doing fine, though she needs to lose weight. I continue to feed stray cats in the neighborhood.

I also hit 1,000 miles on my air-bike a week or so ago. I had set that goal for this year, but reached it ahead of time! I usually ride at least 5 miles every morning, except on the days I have errands in town. The Marcy bike has arm resistance too, which helps me stay in shape and keep my muscles capable of lifting stuff. My weight is in the range of 107-109...and at 5'2", it's never varied much (except for the extreme diets of the past when I got down in the 90s!) I try to eat healthy, mostly vegetarian and whole grains, etc. I've come to really love almond milk too. Of course, I have arthritis; it runs in my paternal family. And the bunion still needs to be fixed, but I just keep putting it off (NOT a good time right now for elective surgery!) 

Alas, that is about all the news from my life now.