My Novels

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Bad habits & addictions

Today's writing prompt seemed to strike my mood this afternoon:

List your bad habits and addictions and what you've tried to rid yourself of them.

Of course, my alcohol problem was one of the more horrendous I ever endured. I struggled an entire year trying to quit, but finally voluntarily entered inpatient rehab in October. After that, I stopped helped that I was able to detox with medical assistance. The past six months had been hell on earth: trying to stop, then binging, blackouts (which I'd never had during the six years I drank). The last blackout I had was terrifying -- when I got sober. Apparently I visited with my sister, talked like I was fine, and had NO memory of it. Scary, enough so it sent me to rehab. I know I'll have to struggle against drinking -- but the easiest way to handle it for simply don't drink. Don't have liquor in the house, where I usually did my drinking.

I am anorexic, and was treated for that while in rehab. In fact, being on a starvation diet (age 55, weighed 88 lbs.), led to the liquor. I was at the point I would hardly eat anything, but found that a drink made me hungry and I'd eat. So instead of starving, I started drinking. I've gained back to 105 lbs now, but like the liquor, it's an ongoing battle. I loved being skinny, feel as if I've accomplished something...weird.

I think, to some extent, writing is my positive habit. When I was writing my novels, short stories, poetry...I didn't obsess about my weight, nor ever think of a drink. Writing has saved me many times in the past -- whether I was going through serious stressful events, dieting or suffering from depression and anxiety. I could get lost in my stories and characters' escape. I hope to eventually regain that high, sweet bliss where I cease to exist and let my characters speak through me.

I'm sure I have other habits some would consider bad: Not very social, though I can rise to the occasion when necessary. Being content alone. Hate crowds.  Most of the traits others might condemn, I consider my personality: introvert, independent to a fault, solitary, passion for pets/animals. I could go on, but that's enough.

Link to writing prompt: 80 Journal Writing Prompts

Balmy day, mild 70s, though mostly cloudy. Getting tired of the rain, and there's a musty smell in the air from endless rainy days. Mold and mildew thrive in this environment. Except for the neighbor firing up his grill, an entirely different smell -- which the dogs love!

Took them on walk, then baths. I usually give them a bath in my bathtub, though I do have a utility sink on the cats' porch. Unfortunately, the cats go ballistic if I put them in a separate room while using the utility sink to bathe the dogs.

Anyhow, after the tub baths, I have to scrub the tub/shower stall, and it's usually necessary anyway. (I prefer showers, hardly ever take a tub bath.) I had to mop the floors too, dogs tracking in and out from drenched yard....

Thus this day's entry ends. Hope to use a prompt every day as a way to get back into creative writing.


BumbleVee said...

Just scrolled backwards through a few postings and read this one...

All I can say is good for you on giving up drinking... just thinking about somebody being so out of they don't remember going somewhere and doing something... and probably having driven there. What if you kill somebody while driving under the influence? ... That would be enough to keep me in line for sure .... plus.... when I used to drink when I was much younger ... and I did drink lots.... I hated being sick and feeling so crappy all the next day. My Dad used to drink and never seemed to notice if he'd been up til 4 a.m. or not had any sleep...just marched off to work. If it had been that easy for me I probably would still be drinking I suppose...but, it wasn't and man....I never want to throw up again... so now it's easy. Plus...I just feel totally different now than I did then... and can't bother wasting perfectly good time doing that....

Thomas said...

Thanks so much for using my writing prompts! I'd love to read more of what you come up with!