My Novels

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Want to hide

Have you ever dreaded just hearing what will happen next? Not in a novel, a movie...but real life? Just want to run and hide, maybe never get out of bed, pull the covers over your head?

That's pretty much been my life since two years ago when DH died. One death after another, and every time, though I think I'm prepared, I'm not.

I can't even go into the details, but sister's mother-in-law had surgery today, came through it well for her age (76). Still, I have a really bad, bad feeling about this. One of those feelings you can't quite explain...but it's the same feeling I had when DH first started getting sick (and the stupid doctors said he was 'just fine.')

To top it all off, my youngest sister visited my mother today and mother said she "looked on the verge of death."

I have a truly sick feeling about this coming February -- two years ago DH died in February; my dad died in February (almost the same day as DH)...and many times I've thought our family has some sort of curse or bad karma for that month. I could make an endless list, but I won't.

Who knows, I might not survive the next month myself. As they say, "Elvis is dead, and I don't feel so good myself."

Sometimes, weird as it may sound, you just KNOW. (Evidenced by my past entries about the old house we renovated and DH's death.)

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