Guess what? I'm working on a NEW project. I decided to read ALL of my journals before we move, and started with my "little red diary" from childhood. Amazing the things one forgets about being a kid! Then I started on my young adult journals, from the first year of my marriage, and what an eye-opener! But my NEW project is going to be typing ALL of my hand-written journals from the past into my computer, and putting them all online. When I get some of those posted online, I'll add the URL here for anyone who wishes to read those. What better way to perserve them than being online?

DH and I did accomplish a good bit at the old house this past weekend, and he has three days off this next weekend. Should get more done, and be closer to moving...IF I move. I'm having second thoughts AGAIN...

No contact thus far from the "problem"...but that is never far from my thoughts/worries. I occasionally do more research online about adoption, and the other day I ran across a website that had a "psychologist's opinion"...and it infuriated me. Here's the email I sent her about her attitude:

You know,
It's amazing that this "adoptee as victim" has become such a pervasive issue in American society. And so-called "therapist" like yourself certainly do NO ONE any favors by advancing this viewpoint.

No, I'm NOT an adoptee.

I'm NOT a birth parent.

I'm NOT an adoptive parent.

What I am...is someone who was abused at the hands of their own "natural" parents. It ENRAGES me to see adoptees who had wonderful, loving adoptive parents treat them with insensitivity, and try to find "birth parents" (what a misnomer, as if giving "birth" meant they were parents) who might, or might not, be potential abusers.

IF this trend continues, there will be FEW adoptions...because, of course, "natural" parents (no matter HOW abusive and horrible) MUST be preferrable to "adoptive" loving, caring parents. I tell you, when I was a child (being abused by MY "natural" parents) I often wished some good, caring "loving" couple would adopt me.

Here is your own words:

"If you related to anything I have written here or if you have answered yes to any of these questions, you may be adversely affected by being adopted. I am a firm believer that ALL adoptees are adversely affected by being adopted. Even they have a wonderful adoptive family and positive experiences in reunion with their birth families, the fact of the matter is that they were UNCHOSEN at birth. Many experts feel that the separation from mother is one of the most traumatic experiences one can endure."

Adoptees (and ignorant counselors) just need to GET OVER IT. Trust me, things could have been MUCH worse with the "natural" sperm donor and incubator. Giving a child up to a GOOD home, with LOVING parents is NOT being UNCHOSEN. Dumping a baby in a trash can, that's being UNCHOSEN, lady.

And one day soon, I will write a novel based on just how destructive this whole "adoptee" search for "birth parents" really is -- for society at large, and for the thousands of damaged, waiting, sad kids in foster care now who will NEVER have a loving adoptive family choose them.