Break my heart

I WANT to be involved with the local animal welfare organization, want it with all my heart. But I'm afraid of getting my heart broken, there's SO many suffering, needy dogs/cats...how can I stand it? AM I strong enough, that's the question?

Today I stopped by Pet Depot, where the local animal welfare group has dogs/cats from the animal shelter, and talked to a woman I've known for several years. The desperation of spring litters (puppies/kittens) was in her eyes, on her face...it made me want to cry.

I've rescued my share of kittens over the years, god knows. It was an integral part of life, the thing that always kept me LIVING when I just wanted to commit suicide because of the cruelty of humans to one another and to animals. My pets sometimes (often) were the ONLY reason I got out of bed in the morning, knowing they were depending on me. And that's not a sad statement, it's a positive reason for living, and how much a pet's life can mean to a human.

As much as I feel a "calling" for my creative writing, I also feel a "calling" to help suffering domestic creatures -- who want only our help, our love. I have known for a long time this was part of my mission, in whatever way I can fulfill it.

But am I strong enough?

I remember years ago when I first discovered the Doris Day Foundation and in one of the newsletters, an article described the moneumentual task of helping ALL the multitudes of suffering pets...especially in shelters. It said something to the effect that we cannot help them all, but to the ONE we do help, it makes all the world of difference.

That will have to be my philosophy if I get involved in this animal welfare organization. Other than, of course, ALL my monetary funds going to that effort, once I'm dead. I made SURE of that.

Biking

I just returned from an exhilarating bike ride. Overcast, mild temps, late afternoon and one of those days when suddenly you hit a transcendental moment. Much like a "runner's high" you feel as if you are soaring, flying even, one with the bike, noticing everything around you: the dark sky, the misty air, flowers blooming nectar, yards neat and tidy, people nowhere in sight...just you, alone, flying. The bicycle is no longer an object, it is part of your body, inseparable from your soul.

I had these moments when I used to run, and each time my creativity soared as well. My imagination took flight, just like my body and soul. I've had these wonderful moments on my bike, and in truth, this is why I still bike -- in spite of weak knees. I feel regret that so many people never find this transcendental moment through some kind of exercise; surely if they did, there'd be more fit individuals.

Anyway, I had a busy day: painted all the ironwork on my front porch, whew! A serious job, but I'd been meaning to do that since I moved here nearly two years ago. In addition to all the spring cleaning, I have finished several long-neglected tasks around this place. The rental house will be empty next week, so I'll be busy there for some time as well.

In the meantime: welcome back IMAGINATION. I have decided there is NOTHING like solitude to bring back imagination and creativity. Since my sister has been in Europe, and we've not talked daily on the phone (like we usually do), I have become acquainted with my muse again. Trust me, this is GREAT. I have a new novel outlined, and the characters are already taking over my inner world! While I work on the rental house, I'll let that imaginary world work within my subconscious...and then, perhaps I'll write another novel.

THAT IS MY REAL LOVE, NOT JOURNALISM.

Yes, I CAN write for a newspaper. No, I do NOT feel it is my calling -- merely a job.

We should all find our calling and I found mine long ago...when DH was gone all the time, and I was alone. Fiction is my savior, and always will be.

Solitude is NOT a bad thing -- for artists.

Message from my dogs

Dear Peeps,
What's up with our mom?

First she took down all the curtains and blinds, cleaned the windows inside, washed the curtains/blinds. She also painted the window trim, then rehung the curtains/blinds.

Today she washed the whole outside of the house with a water-hose, shined the outside windows and even washed the car! Those darn spoiled cats got their screenporch washed too, scrubbed and neat (they probably like clean stuff, yuck!).

She always washes the inside floors about once a week, she's weird! We worry she'll try to wash the yard next...

Or us!

HELP!

Sincerely,
Rambo & Oscar

Note to self

Cannot handle BIG dogs.

I had been on a long bike ride, and returned to find neighbors' LARGE Weinheimer dog wandering in my front yard. Usually, she is a gentle dog -- and she ran over to me, all eager to get petted.

Neighbors aren't home from work, so I thought I'd let her in my backyard in order to prevent her getting lost. Woe is me, because I forgot about Rambo and Oscar coming out of my house into the yard through doggie door.

At first, Weinheimer (Cocoa) just stood there while they sniffed her, and then they all ran around the yard...at which point, all @ell broke loose. Rambo tried to attack Cocoa, and then SHE turned on him, and I thought he would be killed! I tried to break it up, but Cocoa was too large and just kept biting at Rambo, practically picking him up in her mouth! I was in the midst of a dog-fight, literally! Then Oscar got in on the fight, and there was vicious barking (even caused dogs in adjacent yards to start barking/howling)!

I finally went to the back door and called Rambo and Oscar to come in, which they did. Obeying for the first time I can remember!!!!

I examined Rambo and Oscar, and they had no breaks in the skin...just lots of dog slobber on them. Good Lord, that was scary!!!!!

Cocoa is still in the backyard, and gentle with ME...but I have mine in the house in their crates until neighbors get home to take Cocoa.

This has been a wake-up call, a lesson: Little dogs are NO match for BIG dogs. Even though Rambo THINKS he is big, he is really small.

Oscar got bitten by a larger neighborhood dog last year when I was at work, because he escaped the backyard fence. It cost me nearly $300.00 to get him well. You think I would have learned my lesson...

But I was just worried Cocoa would get lost since she was loose, and didn't think she was a threat because she's always been gentle. The dog that attacked Oscar was also a female who had pups and got loose occasionally. Cocoa still has two pups but both are supposed to be gone in less than a week. Maybe she's more dangerous due to the pups?

I don't know...but I have learned my lesson: I CANNOT manage a large dog, period.