New Year's Resolution: PATIENCE!

Not exactly the very first day of the year, but better late than never, I suppose.

Yes, I really need to practice patience. Especially in light of the fact that two orthopedic doctors have told me my bones are fragile, that I can get a fracture easy (though I've had several falls and no breaks); that I must not do certain things, such as heavy lifting, yard work, etc. At 71, not sure what I expected: but hey, I'm alive! 

I had a bad year, lots of back deterioration and pain -- that apparently cannot be addressed. It's as if no one dares speak of pain relief anymore; it's just to be endured. Alrighty then.

I was referred to a rheumatologist who simply manages conditions like I have: herniated discs in back, bone spurs, spinal stenosis, osteoarthritis, etc. But not sure I'll see one, because some of the actual treatments (biologics, steroids, etc are worse than the condition). I will discuss it with my GP in about a month on my regular six month checkup for medication refills. Sigh.

I have felt that I should be preparing for assisted living, and I am to some extent. But not sure when, because I still have Muffin to care for; she is 11 now and has her own arthritis problems -- which she gets better care for than myself. I suppose the alternative is to keep hiring yard care (though with more tasks than previously such as trimming hedges, etc that I had been doing). And try to find house cleaning at least on a monthly basis. I can still do basic stuff, but others are getting too difficult for my back. And not just back, but knees, feet, etc. I can do it, but then suffer for weeks. Not worth it anymore.

I have slowly managed to get to the point I can use my exercise bike every other day for four miles. Had to stay off for a couple weeks, due to back strain/pain. It helps for a little while, as long as I don't overdo it. 

Back to patience: when it comes to hiring help, I'm learning you just have to be patient. Something you would normally jump up and do yourself, you have to wait, wait, wait for hired help to arrive and take care of. I spent so much of my marriage waiting for hubby, who was in LE, and then dashing any normal expectations of timely arrival...have a difficult time now with waiting! Alas, I can see that this is going to be my life for the remainder of time here...and elsewhere. It is hard to slow down, be more deliberate and careful in daily activities. As the saying goes: Old age ain't for sissies.

What else: Muffin is doing quite well on glucosamine/chronditin and an occasional doggie aspirin. So that is good. And I won't have as much maintenance outside this spring, nothing like having the back porch rebuilt. Mainly the garage needs to cleaned out, and my walk-in closet also. I will hire someone to do that, because I cannot be climbing, dragging and carrying heavy items. Maybe when the city has spring cleanup, since we can put stuff on the curb for free pickup. (A nice perk of city living here.)

I really don't write much any more; have found no way to be comfortable for long sessions in front of a screen. Right now I'm using a laptop with tray over my lap. I can manage this position, but it is not sufficient for editing/publishing. I have three novels finished, but other than a few edits, just can't do the work of publishing. May never again. And that is okay...I miss it, yes, but then again, I'm not as sharp as I used to be. Sometimes you need to know when to quit; I see far too many seniors doing things they aren't able to master any longer. That is sad. I believe in knowing your limitations, and that is one of the greatest lessons you learn as you age. Keep pushing it and you will pay -- one way or the other!

With that said, everyone ages at a their own pace. What is good for me might not be good for you. But self-knowledge in older years is important, probably the most important and crucial. For one who never let any grass grow under me, always taking care of tasks, writing, whatever...it is not easy to take it easy. On the other hand, doing things that end up causing me painful misery (sometimes even a couple days in bed) have to be curtailed. 

Back to New Year's resolutions: Patience, deliberate diligence about when and what I do; slow down, there's nothing on fire. And if something doesn't get done right NOW, there is always later. Sigh.

Maybe I'll write a progress report in a month or so, see if I am able to abide by these new rules?

 Over & out for now.