Either I'm growing a backbone, or becoming an outright b-tch! Surely though, I am undergoing some radical change -- from being a quiet, shy 'sweet' lady to an outspoken, blunt woman. Perhaps this happens to all widows at some point? It's been gradual, born out of frustration, waiting, being taken advantage of by everyone except family (watch out for this widows!) and learning that I, and I alone, am responsible for getting what I want done. This may be my first lesson, but it is a good one.
No longer do I sit by the phone and "wait" for someone to call -- whether friends or family or someone I'm hiring to do work. I found there is a miraculous cure to "sitting and waiting" by simply picking up the phone and CALLING whoever it is you're wondering about. It works just about every time: presto!, no more waiting!
Today I even called a young guy who bought one of DH's horses, and still owes $200.00. I simply told him I expected full payment before I moved from here, possibly within a couple of weeks. He got the horse on payments, and at first paid every month after DH's death; then all at once, he didn't show up anymore. I DID have his name and phone number, as well as a record of every payment and how much he owed -- DH kept good written records. At any rate, the boy said he'd bring the payment soon. He'd better, or I'll have my nephew confiscate the horse.
One of my sisters had surgery last Thursday, and it was an exhausting time at the hospital. I spent the better part of three days with her. So I was in no mood to deal with more hassles regarding the sell of this place. I was led to believe the appraiser who came here three weeks ago was from the bank, and he did a thorough inspection. I'd spent several days cleaning, scrubbing, even touch-up painting, getting the lawn mown, etc. for his visit. I never knew the exact estimate, but accepted the young couple's offer (which was a bit lower than I wanted, but I thought 'a bird in hand is worth two in the bush.') Anyhow, when I got home from the hospital Friday night, there was a message from the bank where the couple has been pre-approved for the loan saying they needed to send an appraiser out here. After a few phone calls, I think I got it straightened out, but I was upset -- because I don't want to have to do all the scrubbing/preparation again. I keep a tidy house, but lately I've been sorting through drawers, closets, etc. trying to discard stuff I don't want to carry in my move. I guess time will tell whether there will be another appraisal. The couple are anxious to get the closing over with, but I'm no longer in any hurry.
I have decided to move some money from my money market into my checking, and just go ahead and buy the brick house in town, get the work done and move. IF this sale here goes through before then, fine. If not, or if there's complications, I'll simply put this place in real estate and let them deal with the hassles. Of one thing I'm certain: It WILL sell, just a matter of time.
Last week I got in touch with a lawyer who will handle my closing on the brick house in town. They are doing a title search now, and if luck is on my side, my closing will be next week! The following week I have lined up a carpenter to do some minor work for creating a place for the cats, and a professional painter to paint the entire interior. I don't know how long that will take, but as soon as it's finished, I'll move. After I'm settled in there, I'll come back here and prepare for a huge estate/moving sale and let my brother-in-law (who can pinch a penny till Lincoln's eyes cross!) handle the selling of all DH's stuff -- tractor, flat bed trailer, horse trailer, tack, saddles, etc. I also will have quite a lot of furniture left to sell here, since I'm downsizing. Maybe I'll make more than enough to cover all the improvements I'd having done on the house in town.
My sister came through the surgery fine, but she's having to deal with the aftermath, pain, etc. so we're all helping out. It wasn't a serious problem, just something she chose to do at this time to improve the quality of her life.
Cats are fat and sassy, and so are my miniatures. I'm thinking of offering Festus and Ginger to a friend of DH's who already has one little registered stud. He and his wife have a very large farm, and said they'd like to breed Ginger with their little stud. I am sure they'll buy my two, and I KNOW they'll have a GREAT home for life. This couple buying this place, I'm not sure they will take good care of my ponies. And I'll miss them, but as long as I know they are taken care of, I can deal with it.
I'll end with a few pictures of the ponies, cats and this place: