I have closed on the brick house in town. Yes, I'm glad that ONE closing is over. The couple buying this farm told me they should know their closing date tomorrow, Monday. I can't move until the minor improvements are made on the house in town, which may take a couple weeks.
I AM looking forward to that move though, since I can once again ride my bike without fear of a speeding SUV running me over (like on the rural highways here). Plus, not having to spend a small fortune on gas every time I want to shop, go to the library, or do anything in town.
Today I went on a long bike ride, enjoying the brilliant sunshine and windswept day. It felt like climbing a mountain instead of the small hills on my bike, since I was riding against the wind. Perhaps that is a metaphor for my life these days: Riding against the wind, going against the norm. For what is a widow if not an abnormal half of what was once a whole?
I don't have much to write about, but will conclude with the following quotes and poem, which summarize my thoughts lately:
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ...'holy sh!t...what a ride!'" --Anonymous Biker
"Think this way about it - what if you've been a caterpillar up until now? Imagine that you are. What kind of butterfly could you be? Think big. Now, make a chrysalis and transform yourself. Learn everything you need to know to be a butterfly. Think about it and try it out in your mind. Start to live your new life everyday, as much as you can. Soon, it will feel normal." -CR Blogger
"Read about all religions, believe none." --Anon
"Have you ever actually visited a rest home--it's not a pretty sight. I'm sure all of them aren't like the one my mother was in and some take really good care of their residences but I still don't want to end up in one. If I have to be placed anywhere, take me to a motel and check me in. For about the same price you get your room cleaned every day, can make free local calls, have your own TV, someone will check up on you. You have access to maybe a pool, a workout room, continental breakfast -- a lot of nice things and your family will even probably want to come visit you so they can use the facilities too." --Anonymous
I am alone, in spite of love,
In spite of all I take and give—
In spite of all your tenderness,
Sometimes I am not glad to live.
I am alone, as though I stood
On the highest peak of the tired gray world,
About me only swirling snow,
Above me, endless space unfurled;
With earth hidden and heaven hidden,
And only my own spirit's pride
To keep me from the peace of those
Who are not lonely, having died.
Arthur Miller -- “When life disappointed me, I always had my writing.”
Hope I can eventually restore my faith in writing; all will be well then, for it has saved me more than anything else -- including family, love, relationships, friendships, you-name-it. Writing has been, and always will be, My Savior.