Last night I had a very peculiar experience. Not even sure it was a dream. More like a hallucination, or vision or...something.
I had been reading an ebook/novel and grew sleepy. Put my Kindle aside, and started to drift off to sleep...but first, I felt a gradual vibrating/electrified sensation throughout my entire body. I wanted to move, shake off the feeling...but was paralyzed. Then it was as if I was watching but with my eyes closed.
I saw one of J's late officer friends enter the bedroom, and he immediately looked around the room, went to an old-fashioned transistor radio, made sure it was off. Then he looked directly at me, and I recognized him instantly; he sat down on the bottom edge of my bed, I could feel the bed sink down under his weight; then he said, "I have something bad to tell you."
Wondering what could be worse than J dying, which had already happened over 12 years ago, he shook his head as if reading my thoughts. "No, it's worse than that. Something bad is coming."
I thought he was joking, and tried to smile, but again, I was paralyzed. Nor could I speak to him.
He just kept repeating that something bad was going to happen.
Apparently he didn't think I was taking him seriously, so he got up and left my bedroom. Then as I stared at the open door, J entered. I was astonished, but couldn't move or greet him in any way.
He too made sure the old radio was off, then sat down on the edge of my bed, but he also put his hand on my leg. I didn't flinch, nor make any move.
Looking me directly in the face, he said clearly, "Something bad is about to happen."
I could tell from the look on his face he was dead serious. Again, I tried to say that the worst had already happened when HE died. As if he too had read my mind, he said, "No, it's much worse."
Though he didn't say another word, I could feel his ominous warning settling over me, and was trying to ask what was going to happen. But he just kept shaking his head, looking down at the floor now, upset but trying to communicate that a bad thing was coming.
I finally was able to speak and I woke up! Crap! Not only was this startling, it was doubly so because I rarely, if ever, dream of J. And what dreams I do have are fleeting, and barely remembered.
But this one was so alarming and unsettling, I immediately wrote it down on a pad I keep by my bedside. Then I sent it to myself in an email, so I'd have a time-stamp for verification it had happened. Weird, I know. I even started to text my sister, though it was midnight now. Best I could tell, this took place for an entire HOUR. I had put the Kindle aside at 11:00, glancing at the clock. And it was midnight when I looked at the clock upon awakening.
Was this sleep paralysis? A real warning? What?
I thought I'd never sleep, but I did eventually. And I dreamed about working at the newspaper again. Going through the daily routine, the stress, the deadlines and the friendship of co-workers, etc. When I woke up this morning, I almost felt like getting up to go to work!
No idea why those events/dreams were so vivid.
Alas, just wanted to record this for my blog and as reference (which seems to be why I write at the blog lately!).