IF JESUS WERE A REDNECK
1. He'd've brung a fishing pole with him when he walked on water.
2. His last words on the cross would have been, "Hey, Paul, I kin see my house from up here."
3. He'd be famous for turning water into beer.
4. The prayer for the Passover meal would have been, "Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat."
5. His front yard would have been littered with broken down mule carts.
6. Instead of a grail, King Arthur would been searching for the Holy Beer Mug.
7. He would have cured blindness by yelling, "Yer healed" and slapping people on the forehead.
8. The disciples would have included Billy Bob, Scooter, and Bubba.
9. Sex, drinking, and dancing would clearly have been declared not sinful.
10. Instead of a fish, the symbol for Jesus would be a fishing lure.