First, my step-dad who had NO symptoms of being sick or unhealthy, passed away in his sleep last Sunday night. My mother found him the next morning, dead beside her, and thus ensued several days of shock, grief, misery, the ritutal religious customs (funeral/burial), family gatherings, turmoil, confusion...all the usual emotional/financial upheaval dealing with death.
My mother cannot live alone; my step-dad was her support system, since he could drive, etc. Now we (the four daughters) are faced with a delimma...of how mother's life will unfold. She is 75, diabetic, disabled, and will have very little income. Her home is mortgaged to the hilt, and it looks like disaster is looming.
Due to our horrific childhood (dad alcoholic, mother enabler) we all have our various hang-ups in trying to care for her. Absolutely, I cannot have her live with me; the resentment about our scary, abusive childhood would surface soon, and I'd be a basket-case. Additionally, I'm still trying to cope with my OWN loss of a beloved spouse.
Otherwise, I've inherited my step-dad's miniature daschund who has become a buddy to Rambo. Picture coming soon. Oscar, the daschund, hasn't been neutered...ergo, I must have that done at the vet tomorrow, as well as an overall checkup and preventative shots. Woe is me. BUT Rambo seems happier with Oscar as a playmate, so all is not lost.
Life gets too confusing sometimes...it makes you wonder if there is some frenetic jester in control who loves to stir up trouble. And this has been the WORST year of my life, though I would have never thought one could be worse than 2005.
Somewhere the Gods (if there are any) are laughing their @sses off.