So often it happens that when an abusive parent is homeless, few of the siblings want to take them in. Such is the case with my mother. But worse, she has a worthless younger brother (my uncle) who is homeless and seems to have decided he has "squatters' rights" on her own home. She is living with one of my sisters (who is furious and resentful and probably will pay with health problems eventually)...and this worthless uncle has literally taken over her home. In fact, he was a source of friction between my mother/father YEARS ago when I was a child of only six. He is a pain in the @ass. I told him so in no uncertain terms, and were it up to me, I'd have his @ss in jail for trespassing. Instead, I have simply withdrawn from the feud.
Yes, my SISTERS did help me after DH died. I kept apologizing to them that they had to help...although I think I would have managed without them. I'm a survivor. Still, I APPRECIATE what they did -- but you can believe I made sure they got PAID for all they did, in cash. There was NO charity involved.
Am I done yet? No.
It appears there will be no family gathering at Thanksgiving or Christmas. Which suits me fine. Without the crap of the holiday stuff, I can concentrate on my OWN life. I suggested they do the same.
Should you think I'm being unreasonable, just consider this scenario from my memoir:
One night after daddy had left on a long-distance trip, he suddenly reappeared at our backdoor. He whispered my name, and I came to him...and he asked where mother was. I said she was in the living room.
He showed me a gun. He said he was going to kill us all.
I begged him NOT to kill us, and cajoled, pleaded until he said..."Okay, but I want to know why your mother always lies."
(Truth is, she always did...for NO good reason.)
I had no idea what to say...but at the age of only eight, I got him calmed down a bit. I managed to persuade him to take us to my paternal grandmother's house, which he did. But he insisted he was going to kill mother. For once, she didn't escape to the neighbors; instead, she had to go with us in the car. (Most often, when this stuff happened, she would escape to a neighbors and leave us girls to suffer the consequences of daddy's rages.)
We were fortunate to be left with our grandparents, but he took mother with him. And she later said he made her stand in front of the headlights on a deserted country road while he aimed the gun at her.
Yet, she wouldn't leave him, or divorce him...until I FORCED the issue after I graduated high school. We had divorce proceedings in progress when she suddenly let him come back.
That is when I married DH. I simply could not take it any longer.
Today, in most courts, if a wife allows her children to be killed by an abusive husband/boyfriend, she is charged as an accomplice.
How glad I am that SOME laws have addressed this issue.
In some ways, I still feel my mother was a potential accomplice to our possible murder as children. That's not really a mother, is it? Just someone who got pregnant and gave birth, but NOT a parent.
Damn if I'll ever take her in NOW.
On the positive side, my fencing is finished; the dogs LOVE it, and so do I. For once I actually hired the RIGHT professional help. In fact, I think my problem with "hiring people" has been NOT hiring PROFESSIONALS. Sure, it costs a bit more...but you get what you pay for. 'Nuff said.