[I didn't post yesterday due to being upset/sad about the awful shooting in Sandy Hook. Honestly, having signed myself into a psychiatric/rehab facility, knowing that my co-pay would be expensive, getting mental health help is not cheap or always available. As citizens, we need to start demanding MORE facilities/help for the mentally ill and begin at the local level first. Such a tragedy, that might have been prevented in several ways, including limiting access to guns.]
I keep wondering why I've had very little one-on-one counseling. Yes, a few of the staff have talked to me privately -- social worker, nurses. But I've not met with a psychiatrist or psychologist for discussion. Twice daily group therapy not really helping. I'm depressed again today.
(OKAY, SOMEONE GOT MY PEN & PROBABLY READ THIS JOURNAL, SHAME ON YOU!!!!!!)
Had meds, feel a bit better. But I am getting really, really bored. Tired of playing bingo & elementary inspirational grade school pep talks in group therapy. Seriously. I know more about that material than I could even recount from years of inspirational writing. Hello, lifestyle articles!
My back hurts all the time and what I thought was a pain med is instead for my "nerves."
Wondering where I can hide this journal so staff won't read it?
Everything is searched here. I couldn't even keep a comb & brush! Or my drops for dry eyes. Have to ask specifically for those, and an aid stays with me while using.
Did have a delicious lunch but must be gaining a ton! I have had cereal several mornings, sugary stuff. I miss my All-Bran and Bran flakes. Fiber is missing in the regular meals here; typical southern cooking, loaded with butter, sugar, fat and greasy meat.
I'm beginning to want to go home! No group meetings about alcohol/substance abuse either.
Last night I woke up & overheard a male resident in a nearby room talking to an aide. He said he didn't know why he was here...that his family didn't want him and his daughter had him committed. Said he was first at a more secure facility before being sent here.
Night (Before bed)
I spent most of the evening sitting in front of the nurses station, talking with other patients and watching the frenetic pace of the nurses. Better than TV!
Found out that Julie (the 65-year-old) took an overdose of pain pills, got badly combative. She had to be restrained at the hospital, then ended up here. Her husband had her committed via court order. She's not the only court ordered person in here either; in fact, so far I'm the only one who has signed myself in. When I tell others that, they look at me like I really am nuts or stupid.
A few of the elderly, like the man I mentioned above, don't really know why they are here. This place seems to act as a clearinghouse for elderly who are a bit unstable or have dementia and need meds adjusted or need to be relocated to another facility other than the one they came from. Quite a few are here from assisted living places, and nursing homes.
We got a new patient tonight (from assisted living) who is the perfect example. She demanded to walk in with her walker, instead of being on a gurney. As she passed us in the hallway, she was grumbling, "They got me just as I was going to bed, didn't give me time to take my hair out of rollers."
She had a pink cap over her head, kept patting it self-consciously but laughed as several people said they had been brought in without consent too. Dora is a card, I can tell!
I will say all the residents, including yours truly, are bonding and sharing war/life stories. I believe that is a good development for myself & recovery.