I feel somewhat tired, lethargic, and have a general depression. I go through periods like this, and can never quite pinpoint the exact cause, whether physiological or psychological. Perhaps a bit of both. At any rate, it's a beautiful sunny day here, though only in the 50s with a light wind. I haven't been on my bike ride, but may go later this afternoon. I did go Saturday and Sunday, so I am due a day off...but then again, getting out in the fresh air might improve my mood.

I saw an excellent movie last night on FX network, which surprised me. I know that FX is affiliated with Fox networks (blatantly pro-Bush/conservative), and was somewhat amazed that a movie portraying a controversial Viet Nam era figure who more or less finally brought the evidence of how WRONG that war was to the USA public...would be broadcast this close to another possible war. Here's the TV Guide description:

The Pentagon Papers

James Spader's haunting performance as controversial Vietnam War figure Daniel Ellsberg drives this powerful 2003 fact-based cable drama.

In 1971, Ellsberg, a former Pentagon official, leaks a 7000-page classified report to the press, indicating that four presidents misled the public about U.S. involvement in Vietnam. Spader's understated portrayal conveys Ellsberg's mounting guilt for having supported the war before he becomes convinced that it can't be won and that he holds a document that could end it. Ellsberg's torturous internal debate culminates in an act he considers patriotic---but one that others view as treasonous. Harry Rowen: Alan Arkin. Anthony Russo: Paul Giamatti.

I'm sure there are those of us who grew up during the Viet Nam War Era and can never quite TRUST the government again, after the TRUTH came out. I was a teenager during the latter part of that war, and I well remember how horrible it all was. Every night the TV news showed stacks of bodybags, killed American soldiers, and gave us a 'body count' of the day's dead. And then there was also the sentiment among most of us teen girls that every boy we knew would either be going to college or Viet Nam. Poor kids went to the war, rich kids went to college. Yet it was partly the rebellious college kids who got the anti-war movement started, and helped end the war too. Additionally, most girls would NOT date a Viet Nam vet, because it was widely said that nearly all of them were 'crazy.' A terrible comment, I know...but that is how it was then. I never blamed the frontline soldiers (nor would I in the upcoming war) for what our military had them doing; on the other hand, I also realized that of the Viet Nam vets I knew who had actually been on the frontline in Viet Nam, most were definitely less than stable.

Living during that Era is certainly responsible for much of my anti-war sentiments today; I cannot foresee any good coming from war, and particularly an undefined war that seems to suggest there will be no definite end. It's too similar to how we got into the Viet Nam war disaster.

Here's some article links/excerpts:

Color Purple' author, 26 others arrested at peace rally

Actress Janeane Garofalo, who has spoken out against the Bush administration's position on Iraq: "Silence does not equal patriotism. Obedience is not the American way," she said. "It's our obligation to watchdog the government because, for the most part, the media has not done so."

Yes, I heard that! I'm dismayed at the lack of journalistic fact-finding during this whole Iraq war debacle. And I still don't consider what the USA did in Afghanistan to have been a success -- since bin Laden is still at large. Was it really nescessary to kill so many Afghani people in the pursuit of a man/terror group that still remains on the loose? I don't know, nor do I have any certain answers...but as I stated, I'll always be skeptical when it comes to war issues, due to having witnessed firsthand how badly such schemes can turn out, the toll in human lives.

Before September 11th, I had several email friends in Europe. Within six months after that, I lost all of them. Why? Mainly it was because they seemed to HATE America, to think we Americans are arrogant, brash, ill-bred and completely amoral and materialistic. They (individually) criticized our way of life, and kept asking WHY we Americans think we have the ONLY democracy and that our way is the BEST way. In truth, I've never felt we in America have a perfect society/democracy; we lack many social programs (such as affordable/free medical care, etc) that other democracies now have...so I couldn't defend against their criticisms...but felt disloyal not to. The result though, not just on my personal friendships but worldwide, seems to be a growing distrust and dislike among ALL peoples, Europeans, Arabs, you-name-it. I think that this will be Bush's legacy eventually in history.

Now I'll get down off my soapbox! (sigh)

Here's a last link to a good blog for all the latest anti-war material:

Let There Be Peace