It is warm, warm, warm here today, very springlike with rolling purple clouds and occasional showers. The trees are budding, the flowering shrubs are blooming and it looks like an early spring is in store for Dixie. I love it all, except for the pollen that aggravates my allergies. Already my skin feels itchy, and my eyes burn, water...but I suppose I shouldn't complain.

I haven't been able to tame any of the kittens, although I did sit outside on the porch one night and enticed one to come to the food dish. It was within reach, but I knew if I made a move, it would scamper away. I haven't seen the gray-and-white one again, just the calico and white kitten since they turn up each night about dark to eat from my food dish on the porch. I'd like to take in one of them, since I DO have a vacancy now -- I have five cats, but room for six. However, these kittens are now about 12 weeks old, and with every day that passes without human contact become more feral. And it's is hard to tame a feral kitten; plus, they seem to be fat and healthy and doing well wherever they are staying. Oh well, all I can do is make sure they have plentiful food/water.

I've been going on my bike ride each day, and now have over 200 miles on my bike since I put the speedometer on it. Great! The warmer it gets though, the harder it will be to ride in the morning and I'll have to switch to late afternoons. And the park baseball diamond has been readied for the spring season, so I don't know how much longer I can ride in the park. If I have to though, I can always ride on the streets.

The 12th was my wedding anniversary -- 31 years! Amazing really, considering NO ONE thought DH and I would stay together at all! There's not much to say about it, we didn't celebrate except to eat out.

We decided against the house/acre we looked at last weekend. We had a friend who does carpentry/remodeling to look at the place, and he said it had some serious structural damage which would cost a great deal more than we wanted to put into the place. But we'll keep looking, might run across a place we'd like to have.

I am feeling somewhat depressed. I think the main reason for this is that I haven't been able to read much fiction. I DID finish the sci-fi story I was writing, but still not reading fiction. I believe that fiction was always my drug of choice -- either reading or writing it. In general, I don't like REAL LIFE, no matter how good it is. I have known this since I was in my 20s, and depressed the whole time until I started writing fiction. The escapism is like a drug to me, even though it is a positive drug, not negative. Nevertheless, it has always been my way of dealing with reality -- which I always find less than satisfactory. And this would be true no matter HOW GREAT my life was/is...so I really suffer when not in a fictional world. The net is also escapism, but not as powerful as fiction. Still, it helps somewhat. I went to the library earlier, got some novels and hope to get back to reading. I found the latest Anne Rice, and she's one of my favorite authors so perhaps I'll find it mesmerizing.

I've always known that I have an addictive personality, in that if not writing/reading, I could seriously be tempted by liquor and/or drugs. I have no idea WHY I'm this way, or why there's so many like myself... However, I think that the majority of people like myself are unaware they hate reality, and don't have a clue why they do drugs or need escapism in some form. In some ways, religions serve the same purpose, but you'd never get the devout to admit this. Just the same, life as a biological human is shitty, there's so much to HATE, so much that is flawed and disgusting -- not just in the natural world, but in human behavior -- that it's a wonder there's not more suicides.

And speaking of suicide, I feel that someday I will kill myself. It's sort of been a lifelong love-affair -- a necessary vision of final escape, oblivion. Not now, of course, but someday when I can no longer tolerate life as it is. I don't think this is in any way an insane idea; rather, it is a rational response to flawed human existence.

Enough for today.

Yesterday DH and I went on our regular Sunday drive, but this time we had quite a few houses/property to look at. We're thinking of renting out our house in the city, and trying to find something affordable within a ten-mile radius of our town.

So the good news is: we found a house and one acre within a couple miles of the city.

The bad news is: it needs a little bit of work.

However, the main attraction to this place is the location -- it is entirely private! There's a house within sight, but at least a quarter mile away beyond a field. And on the other side of the house, just thick woods and no house for at least a mile or more. Although it is only an acre, the house is situated for privacy. The house is smallish, but has a full basement, which is good. The outside is white vinyl, with a good roof, cement front porch and large back deck. Inside, there's only two small bedrooms, an eat-in kitchen, den/living area, a very tiny living-room and/or entryroom and one bathroom. There's not alot of cabinets, and no dishwasher, which would have to be put in (I can't live without a dishwasher!). The windows are older, with storm windows on the outside; those would all need replacing too. Good hardwood floors in all but the kitchen/bath/hall, which would need some tile put down. And outside, some minor drainage problems that could be taken care of with a bit of work/landscaping and tractor. All in all, not too bad -- very promising.

I called the real estate agent, and she said the house/property was a foreclosure -- asking $40,900.00 But she said that she could pass along any offer we wished to make. We're thinking of offering $35,000.00 and maybe negotiating. Even at the asking price though, we could afford to buy this with cash! And the agent said that closing costs on cash deals would be less than $500.00.

We went back and looked at the place again today, and still liked it. We could also keep our house here in town, and rent it out for quite a nice little sum per month. The only thing is...it would deplete our savings somewhat, but we'd still have enough cash if we had any kind of emergency. Of course, this wouldn't entail touching any retirement funds either. So we're undecided, just mulling it over.

I've been sort of depressed for the past few days. For one thing, I'm SO tired of the neighbors on either side of us. One has gotten a barking brat of a dog, and the others just had a baby. Neither of them take care of their property, and this has made me lose interest in further improvements on our house, just wanting to get away from here. But this house would be great rental property.

I don't know what we'll do...it's just sort of a dilemma for me right now.

As for the 'kitten situation' ...well, they are still living next-door underneath the house. The lady (and her brother) who owns the house came by the other day, and we talked. I told her about the kittens under the house, and she said her brother would tell his son and wife, who are living in that house. In the meantime, the kittens (and assorted other cats) eat from the big pan of dry food I keep out on the backporch at all times. The kittens look healthy, and are getting fat...seem to be about 10 weeks old. However, all these cats/kittens are feral, and cannot be touched; they run at the slightest sound, so there's not much I can do for them except keep out plentiful food/water.

And so it goes....

I haven't made an entry in a few days, just not had much to report.

Lately DH and I have been thinking of either selling our house and buying another one in town or in the country; or possibly renting this house in town and buying another house somewhere in the country. So I've been browsing real estate ads for our area, and finding a few places we might like to look at this coming weekend.

It's been beautiful weather here, and perfect for biking. I went on the bike ride yesterday and today, early, and enjoyed it thoroughly. Also, we're on our soup/salad diet this week, and I hope I'll drop a few pounds. But won't weigh till the end of the week.

I'm still shopping online for a laptop computer, but can't make up my mind what I want. The Gateway laptop for $899.00 is VERY tempting, but I don't know if I'll buy it or not at this point.

This morning as I was about to leave on my bike ride, I saw three new kittens on my backporch. I always leave out a pan of dry feed for neighborhood cats, and in the past few months, there's been quite a variety of cats eating here. Of course, I don't know which ones belong to people in the neighborhood, with the exception of one next-door, and one behind our house...so am not sure which cats are strays or belong to people. At any rate, the male (un-neutered) cat next-door seems to be the source of the problem; the owners put out dry food (and did LONG before I began putting out some) and many cats have been attracted to their house. Since the owners don't cover their narrow cement-block openings underneath their house, apparently cats have been staying under there during the cold weather (their heating system is under there, and it stays warm). So now one of the females has given birth to kittens -- three that I saw, perhaps more.

This really presents a bad problem, in that the young couple next door just had a preemie baby, and have been staying at the hospital a lot. Therefore, they are probably not aware of the cat situation going on underneath their house. I guess I'll have to tell them, and see if they can sort out the problem -- some of the cats there DO probably belong to people on this street. But people don't neuter/spay these cats, and then don't want to take responsibility for the many kittens.

SHIT!

More dilemmas for me, and I sure hate getting involved in this. But knowing me, and how I love cats, I will probably be smack in the center of what develops. It's depressing really, and I haven't a clue how to proceed.

Enough for today.

Busy, busy, run, run, run today!

I had several errands in town, and got an early start. I first went to the used paperback bookstore, and browsed for some sci-fi novels, a list of authors suggested by some of the scientific sites I've visited. I found three authors/novels, and will try to read/study these for style, form, content of sci-fi, since I'm new to writing in this genre. The only gripe I have with most sci-fi is that it seems too farfetched, set so far into the future that it doesn't interest me. What I'm trying to write is something set in present day America, but weaving in our current science and technology with future hopes/dreams. Plus, the alien slant in my story is about an advanced species; yet, I try to keep it down-to-earth and reasonably believable.

Then I went by the library, had to drop off some books, and ended up getting a few more for research purposes. I am looking into past peculiar and/or unsolved mysteries of the paranormal and/or UFO related stuff. I can use these in my ongoing sci-fi story as the aliens can explain and solve these kinds of mysteries. I brought home a load of books!

I had to stop off and buy some special cat food at a discount store, then on to the grocery store to pick up a few groceries. Next week I'm putting DH and I on a diet of soup and salad. One night soup, the next salad. It'll be interesting to see if we lose weight! Therefore, I didn't have to buy as many groceries as usual.

When I got home, I headed out for the bike ride. Unfortunately, there were workers in the park so I had to ride on the street; but I still got in my usual mileage and a good workout. Much warmer today, but still brisk wind when riding.

Now...here's a couple of news article links/exerpts:

Why U.S. Arrival in Georgia Has Moscow Hopping Mad

The routing of Caspian Sea oil has been the central focus of geopolitical maneuvering in the region over the past decade. Russia has spent much of that period trying unsuccessfully to pressure Georgia's president, former Soviet foreign minister Eduard Shevardnadze, to toe Moscow's line. Moscow helped facilitate the breakaway of Abkhazia from Georgia, in order to weaken the government in Tbilisi. Georgians insist that Russia has also been behind some of the numerous coup- and assassination attempts against Shevardnadze. Certainly Moscow has made no secret of its anxiety over the Georgians' cozy relationship with the U.S. — or of its unhappiness at having to give up longstanding military bases in the former Soviet republic.

A substantial U.S. deployment over Moscow's objections would end the illusion that Russian cooperation against the Taliban would lead to Western endorsement of Moscow's often brutal military campaign in Chechnya. The U.S. military has made clear it has no intention of cooperating with Russian forces against Chechen fighters in the Pankisi. The objective of any mission, officials say, would be to help the Georgian government regain control of an area that had become a haven of criminality and a sanctuary for a small number of al-Qaida operatives.

* * *
As ever, it appears that the U.S. need for oil and the oil-men are possibly involved in this situation. There's always been speculation that oil is behind the whole Afghanistan problem...but I don't know. Just seems very suspicious.

Nixon 'smoking gun' tape released

In other tapes, Nixon talks to aides about planting leftist literature in the apartment of Wallace shooter Arthur Bremer in an effort to link him with anti-war protesters.

* * *
Makes you wonder what the Republicans are up to now, doesn't it?

~~~~~~
That's all for today!