It's been awhile since I updated my blog. Of course, I post at least twice a day with Twitter, but all too often, just never get around to writing a longer entry.
And I have concluded that I've lost faith in writing -- the kind of faith it takes to think that what you write actually matters to anyone, might make a difference in someones life, or that there is any reason to write at all. I've been going through this for years, at least since 2000, and it's not getting better, rather worse.
Perhaps that can be applied to just about everything in my life nowadays: nothing seems to matter enough to bother with it. Oh sure, I get up, take care of my critters, do the usual housekeeping, read, garden, whatever. But I have no driving passion for anything, and that includes dating and/or wishing for another life partner. I am beginning to think that this is what older people experience as they age -- sitting and watching/observing the world go by. I admit, there's a peaceful contentment in this lifestyle, so I'm not complaining. It's an adjustment though that takes years of gradually easing into this different serenity, yet I don't long for the wild upheavals of younger years, nor the roller coaster swings and dips of frenetic activity.
In fact, this may have always been my inner, true self -- which is what precluded being a writer: observer, watcher and then, recorder/writer. Now the only thing missing is that I no longer feel compelled to write about anything and everything in my life, other than a few words each day. I'm sure many would find this appalling, but not those past a certain mature age. Some of us arrive at this serene path sooner than later, but I'm convinced if we live long enough, we all find ourselves in this peaceful contentment.
Ah well, life goes on.
My large garden is still doing well, if a bit dry; I usually water it late in the afternoon. Corn, squash, green beans, cabbage, tomatoes (none ripe yet), beets, sweet peppers...still growing, not yet producing. However, S&W helped me dig the potatoes last week, and we got a ton. Very delicious!
My smaller space beside my carport is doing well too, cherry tomatoes are monsters, but no ripes ones yet.
Here's some picture I'll share:
Monster tomatoes beside my carport
Cucumber in one corner near carport
Squash in another corner
It's been scorching hot lately, and the dogs can't endure the heated street pavement, so we go to a nearby wooded park. Located about 15 blocks from my house, it's a quick drive and by six o'clock usually cool enough to walk the 1/2 mile loop. This was once called the "hobo jungle" since it runs parallel to the train tracks, and was overgrown, a horrid eyesore. The city cleared out the area and created this small walking trail, which is truly enjoyable. There's a few picnic tables, garbage cans but rarely do I see anyone there late in the afternoons. Nice.
The path loops down close to the train track first...
And the train track is very close! A train screamed by today and both dogs wanted to run back to the car!
Lest you think it's all wilderness, the upper loop shows the nearby shops lining the street.
Rambo & Oscar love it, even though the heat is relentless even in these woods...
With that, it's time to water the gardens. Then a movie and later, reading a good novel in bed. A good life, I've decided.