My Novels

Friday, March 27, 2009

Watching over me...

I know folks will think I'm crazy, a nutty superstitious weirdo, yet there are times when I still think my late DH is watching over me.


When I exhaust ALL my efforts, I then take a quiet period of time and fervently ask him for help. I've only done this twice since he died, because I have always been independent-minded, stubbornly persistent and super-responsible. Yet try as I might, sometimes it seems every option has been exhausted, that I'll fail in my effort to simply hang on to what DH and I worked so hard for all our lives: to leave a legacy, a monetary gift to a good cause.

To that end, I'm frugal, I live below my means, and am never extravagant. Whatever I buy, whatever I do, I'm always hoping to preserve that monetary legacy to leave behind in our name. And to also take care of myself without asking for help other than from family and good friends.

But when I'm at my darkest moment, when I think I'll fail, I call on DH. And these two times, things have almost miraculously turned around and what I've asked for suddenly happens. So call me stupidstitious...but yes, I often feel he is still watching over me. And I'm grateful, I really am, for doesn't that mean that true love never dies, it lives on beyond death...possibly into other reincarnations? I choose to believe that is true.

Thus, I now have medical insurance coverage -- and though I'm going with the bottom end plan, higher deductibles and less monthly payments, I have an option to choose from several better plans which includes an almost 100% coverage should I experience catastrophic medical costs. And that means the legacy IS protected, still surviving. For two people who grew up in dire poverty, this will be our lifelong accomplishment -- not what I can have materially while alive, not frivolous spending and wasteful extravagance. Rather a legacy that will make a major difference to the homeless, miserable creatures who have enriched my -- and DH's -- lives.

NOW...on to other happenings here lately.

The garden looks good, even after the recent hard rains. We put newspapers around the cabbage plants, hoping to avoid too many weeds when the grass starts growing. Sherry & Wendell planted two rows of corn the other day; we plan to plant squash and green pole beans at the base of the corn when it gets up. (An Indian planting trick.)

Here's a few pictures to give you an idea of the garden size:

After tilling/planting last weekend

Taken earlier today, drenched from the rain

Cabbages, still standing!!

In the next week or so, Sherry & Wendell will build a raised garden bed near my carport area. We have thick black plastic over the space now, killing the grass. I am following a blogger who is giving instruction on this technique. Thanks Pioneer Woman!

I plan to put a large umbrella in the middle of the raised bed, cemented into the ground. I can raise it when shade is needed and lower it when sun is needed. I am planting all salads, herbs, etc in this space, so it'll be close to get fresh salad fixings! I will have some cherry tomatoes too, radishes, a few other varieties of fresh greens. Yummy!

In the row garden we also have planted red potatoes, white potatoes and green onions already. I'm hoping frost is history this year, and feel optimistic it is. If not, the planted stuff shouldn't be up till that danger is over.

I have put out two climbing rose bushes (red & yellow) near my wood fencing; and already my gladiola bulbs are peeping up. I also have potted petunias on the front porch, as well as a large batch of seed cups with broccoli, cherry tomatoes, and an assortment of bed flowers.

If we have success, we'll can and freeze a lot of veggies for the coming winter. Yes, I'm going to be BUSY, BUSY...productive and hopefully do a lot of cost saving for food next year. Not to mention the healthier aspects of growing and preserving my own food.

Yesterday I ordered a small utility building which I'll have put near the garden for our tools/tiller and other storage. I may also buy a canvas-topped yard set with table/chairs to put out there for time-outs and rest! LOL

My sister and I had a fun visit yesterday and last night; I may go spend the night with her next Tuesday, since her DH will be traveling again. I wish she lived closer; she is 50 miles away, and if she were close, we would be inseparable (since she doesn't work now). Her DH has already retired from a government career, but is now working for a private company (men have trouble really retiring!).

My adorable pups are doing great. Rambo is just so protective of me and territorial of this place that I can't get another pup -- were he different, I'd definitely get a toy dog of some sort (from a shelter, of course)!

I know happiness never lasts, but tonight I'm rather happy. Perhaps I should just accept it, enjoy it and FINALLY put at least some of my worries/anxieties to rest for awhile?

With that, I'm outta here.


Brenda said...

I have no doubt your late husband is with you. I've had many experiences like yours with loved ones who've passed away.

(Love the garden pictures!)

Jeanette said...

I think the legacy you will leave is a wonderful thing to do.