I'm baaaaaaaaack!

I'm Nobody! Who are you? (260)
by Emily Dickinson


I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there's a pair of us?
Don't tell! they'd advertise – you know!

How dreary – to be – Somebody!
How public – like a Frog –
To tell one's name – the livelong June –
To an admiring Bog.
~~~~~

That means, quite simply, I have resigned my position. Why?

I had just written a long rant about all the problems with the position, stressful office environment, demands of the job, deadlines, you-name-it. But accidentally hit the wrong key and destroyed the words. Probably for the best.

I think brevity is sometimes preferred: Emily's poem says it best. I have learned I prefer to be an anonymous "nobody" than "somebody" out there in the public. Having to attend social events (what could be a worse nightmare for a loner?), dealing with disgruntled people, demands never-ending to perform, be more and more creative, etc. They were always "raising the bar," and no matter how much you did, how much praise you got, they expected MORE. That, my friends, is PRESSURE unending.

Job description went out the window, and it turned into a situation where I was expected to fulfill my duties AND take up the slack in any other area when necessary. I'm a bit old to be climbing over wrecks, or forcing my way into a wild fire for an interview.

Suffice to say, stress got to me. I KNOW when I'm too stressed, and had realized it building for at least the last two months. I've seen too many people in their late 40s and 50s keep working when they KNEW they shouldn't. And then drop dead of a heart attack or suffer with cancer, starting with my husband less than two years ago.

We all die in the end, and I know stress is not the ONLY contributing factor to illness and death. But I DO believe it plays a much larger factor in today's society than even doctors realize.

At any rate, I'm a nobody again. However, I will occasionally write freelance articles for the newspaper. The editor and publisher DID NOT want me to resign, but I was determined. And hey, I boosted my savings account too. And I must admit the most joy I got was writing about everyday, ordinary people and their lives. That was also when I got the most compliments from the public. There is a weekly "Friends & Neighbors" column I will probably start to write sometimes in the spring for the newspaper.

What next? Have no idea. I do like working occasionally, but I'm the type who cannot possibly do a loooooong stint at ANY job. However, I can do three to six months easily -- and keep boosting the savings. Or at least if I get so bored here at home, I'm sure I can do SOMETHING like volunteering or clerical work long enough to send me screaming back to my privacy and peace.

I'm looking at it like this: When one door closes, another opens.

And I wonder now what is beyond that next door...or, which adventure I'm destined for next?