My Novels

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Unexpected Grief

Sometimes you think you are doing fine, coping with the loss as a widow, and then, bam!, right out of the blue it's as if someone hit you in the gut with a sledghammer. Such was one of my intense moments today.

Not that it is bad in all ways, because it wasn't. In fact, in one aspect, it was a HAPPY event, something I know DH would have been satisfied with.

I got my mail this afternoon, and saw an envelope from the young couple who bought our farm. I knew it was a wedding announcement, since they were only living together, not married. When I opened it up, there was the most BEAUTIFUL picture of the barn DH had started and the couple had finished. It looked just like DH would have wanted it to, and I gasped, happy/sad at the same instant. Happy because I knew the couple (the boy knew DH well, went horseback riding with him often) had created exactly the barn DH would have, had he lived.

Sad, bereft that DH wasn't here to see it, to realize his dream HAD come true...just like he'd always imagined it!!! The big barn was his fondest dream, and he couldn't have done a better job of it himself had he been here.

This is what the announcement said:

The couple's name above the barn picture

And then inside:

Come celebrate a new beginning with a wedding reception for _____ and ______ at their barn for a "hoe-down" on Friday October 27, 2006 at 7:30 p.m.

I am definitely going to be there, and tell them what a WONDERFUL job they've done with the barn AND the old farmhouse and the land. I can't wait to see them, and their parents. At least one of my sisters and brother-in-law will go with me, today, I'll probably burst into tears.

I KNOW they will be happy there, and whatever was in that farmhouse, on the land, haunting me and DH has gone.

I only wish I could tell DH about this, and share it with him. I hope he would have been satisfied with who has the place now, and how much they wanted to please him with their hard work and efforts. I know I will be sure to tell them how much it means to me and would have meant to DH.

1 comment:

amanda said...

Hello there, I found your blog through my blog stats (seems that someone searched for the terms "widow blog" and got to me, I repeated the search and found you).

I lost my husband about 6 months ago after a seven-year intermittent battle with leukemia. We had only been married for two years, but had been together for almost 10 years. He was 24 when he passed, I was 25.

I just wanted to let you know that there is someone out there in the internet who is going through some of same experiences that you are having...I have broken down, sometimes in public, over the oddest triggers.

I hope that this note finds you doing as well as you can be.