My Novels

Monday, April 30, 2007

A Walk Around the Block

Let's go on a walk around the block where I live in photos. This is where I usually walk my dogs nearly every day, except when I take them to the nearby park.

This is taking a left and heading down the street which deadends

Turning left at the deadend, this is the street that borders a vacant wooded lot

At the curve in the previous street photo, a trail leads down to a creek; several hundred acres of woods/land there is owned by a monastery/retreat

This street is steep and borders the creek

And the creek runs downhill alongside the street

And we're back to the street where I live, white car in my driveway

With the exception of the short block that connects the three sides of the block, that's pretty much where I walk the dogs. It's actually a span of two blocks, and as you can see, it's up and down hills. I think that contributed to my knee problems, but the main reason was the dogs PULLING and RUNNING. I finally taught them to WALK on the leash, not run; to HALT when I say to. And I got some very expensive walking shoes, which helped. Slowing our pace to a sauntering walk instead of a jog truly made a big difference. My knees occasionally still hurt, but usually only if I've been climbing stairs or not wearing proper shoes. At least I CAN take the dogs on walks, and it's very enjoyable for them as well as myself.

I live about a block from the wooded forest retreat land of a monastery, which means there won't be any housing developments there. This is a settled neighborhood, and living on a deadend street there is little traffic; it's very quiet here, and I LOVE it, after living in that farmhouse on a busy county road!

I mowed the backyard yesterday, no problem. Either this afternoon or tomorrow afternoon I'll mow the front yard. I'm getting better and better at using the riding mower, and if this continues, I may buy a new one when this used one breaks down.

I saw a great rented movie Saturday night: "Notes on a Scandal." Highly recommended!

For my latest daily activities, check my Twitter sidebar; I update frequently day and night.

I'll close with this snippet from (a forum I visit often for widows/widowers). A widow wrote this, and it is worthy of consideration:

What I've learned about men as a widow:

1. They think I have money
2. They think I am horny
3. They think I need someone to "mother"
4. They have major health issues and think I'm a nurse
5. They need a place to stay and be taken care of
6. And they think, last but not least, I'll accept anything.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

New Photos

Another beautiful day, even though we were supposed to have storms today. Maybe later in the afternoon, or not -- who knows? My yard will have to be mown probably next Monday; I don't like to keep it butchered, and also waste gas when it doesn't really need mowing.

Yesterday at Walmart I looked at a lightweight weedeater with recharable battery. It only costs $56.00 and I am considering buying it if the weed killer doesn't control perimeter areas of the yard. I have a long curb in front of the house, and alongside my paved driveway...not to mention the chainlink fence. I will probably get the weedeater, since I think it's light enough for me to use -- and doesn't need gas or cord.

I'm enjoying the new feature at Twitter, which allows my brief (you're limited to about four lines of text) updates to appear in the sidebar of my blog now.

I finished a good novel last night, and need to head to the library shortly. Reading novels helps me deal with the random, seemingly mad world we inhabit, as well as inspire my own writing.

Now here are a few random photos around my place:

The azalea at rear of my house, survived the late frost

Weird tree beside my house is flourishing

Old mailbox (for bird nests) in backyard fig tree, which didn't escape the late frost

Pecan tree stump has become bane of my existence, tried all kinds of methods to kill/stop sap

Pups tuckered out after getting back from walk

Otta here for today!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

New Poem

This was written recently when I was alone, lying in bed, a thunderstorm approaching.

Distant Thunder

Off in the distance
A roar and rumble
Scents of rain on the wind,
And I lie in my bed
Unafraid of storms
Tornados or hurricanes
Cancer or disaster.

I have lived long
And hard and for Art,
Stood in downpours of rain
And raging rivers of heartache,
Kissed and loved and lost
Lovers, scoundrels and the cost
Has been monumental sorrow
And aching and surrender...
But -- I have lived.

Thunder rocks and rolls
Across a perilous world,
Where no one is promised

To be dangerous
To be alive
And give your ALL
Your soul, your heart
For Art
For Love
For Life
Then distant thunder
Will never threaten.


Though I've not mentioned it recently in my blog, I have almost finished my memoir. It will end with my marriage, not continue into that landscape. My childhood/teen years were so difficult, dangerous and yes, loveless, that I decided to end that first part of my life in one book.

No, it will not be online...because I intend to search for a publisher.

Tired, had a busy day, and ready for bed. Just wanted to post this before I go to sleep.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

V.Tech Shooter Was Loner...

So what? Ted Bundy, by all accounts, was outgoing, charming, involved in politics -- and oh yeah, a serial killer.

Here's an article with comments from my hero -- the author of "Party of One."

~~From the New York Sun~~

Loners Vs. Loneliness
April 18, 2007

The minute she heard about the massacre in Virginia, author Anneli Rufus knew what was coming next. "It was almost a countdown," she said. "Five, four, three, two, one — here comes the L word!"

And so it did.

"He was a loner," school spokesman Larry Hincker said of the shooter, Cho Seung-Hui, "and we're having difficulty finding information about him."

Oh, so the homicidal maniac responsible for the deadliest shooting rampage in American history was a loner? That explains it. He got sick of eating lunch alone, so he killed 32 people. Happens all the time. It's a script as old as "Taxi Driver" — older, even. The only problem is, it's wrong.

Ms. Rufus, author of the loner manifesto "Party of One," would like to set the record straight: Loners don't kill people. Lonely people kill people. There's a big difference.

"The loner is a person who feels very comfortable alone," she said. "Loneliness doesn't even occur to them. A whole weekend could go by and it's 6 on a Sunday and they say, `Oh! I haven't talked to anyone,' and that's cool."

Loners harbor no hard feelings toward the world that didn't stop by for tea. They didn't want to chat anyway.

Lonely folks, on the other hand, feel frantic when they can't connect. "Loneliness is associated with just about everything bad," a professor of psychology at the University of Rochester, Harry Reis, said. "Lonely people die earlier, they have all sorts of problems. It's the no. 1 cause of suicide."

Unlike the loner, "a lonely person craves others and feels bad when they aren't there," Ms. Rufus said. "I've done a lot of reading about criminals, and often I find that these are people who could not get accepted into a clique, a club, a relationship. They're hurt and they want revenge." In other words, people who need people are (potentially) the most violent people in the world.

People who don't need people, however, are the ones nobody trusts.

Happy-go-lucky loners get lumped together with needy nuts because, to the outside world, these very different groups look the same: They're the ones sitting out the picnic. And since it's hard for most people to imagine anyone choosing this solitude, onlookers assume they must be sad or snooty — or packing heat.

Then, too, there's the self-fulfilling headline writing (we) the press are guilty of.

Google "loner" and "gunman" and you will find a slew of slayers, some of whom held very social jobs, like hairdresser and doctor. Was there ever a loner hairdresser? But Google "gossipy" and "gunman" and — forget it.

Though we automatically think of our criminals as loners and vice versa, the fact is some of the most admired people in history have preferred solitude to speed dating. Ms. Rufus has compiled a whole list of them, beginning with Isaac Newton, who didn't even like playing with other boys as a child.

J.D. Salinger, Albert Einstein, and the author of "Silent Spring," Rachel Carson, all enjoyed spending more time with their thoughts (or at least fish) than with other people, as did John Lennon, Franz Kafka, and Stanley Kubrick. Emily Dickinson spoke to people through a partly closed door for a good part of her life, "a veritable poster girl for reclusiveness," Ms. Rufus said. Dickinson was a loner, yes, but her poems don't sound lonely. They sound full of life.

In fact, the desire to be alone has zero correlation with any kind of psychopathology, a psychiatry professor at Eastern Virginia Medical School, Robert Archer, said. "The preference to spend a quiet evening reading a book rather than being at a party has no [correlation to] mental illness at all," he said. "The world is quite full of introverted people who are quite safe to live next door."

And if by some chance the one next door to you isn't — well, at least we know how you'll describe him to the 1010 News team.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Mad news of the world...

I'd love to tell you that all the other news agencies were suddenly attacked by a sincere feeling of guilt over the airing of that hideous video by the V.Tech shooter to MSNBC, but let's face it folks, just ain't so. (Um, does JEALOUSY/COMPETITION ring a bell here?) Frankly, to think that FOX (Faux news as intelligent people call it) actually had a serious bout of conscience after all the crap they spew...well, it defies credibility.

S*it happens, all the time. Just glad I didn't bring forth any more humans into this world to experience it.

Why the V.Tech shooter did what he did: Only he knew for sure, but it seems fairly obvious he was picked on and bullied as a shy youngster. And I read he might have been autistic too -- or at least once diagnosed as a child. The media has an obligation to report news; that event is news, and in general the public wants to know WHY it happened.

Though this may seem bleak, I'm actually in a GREAT mood. See Twitter (on sidebar) for recent updates about WHY...

Still, I believe that humans and the earth and the solar system and the nauseam, are, indeed, doomed.

For more newsworthy events as evidence of this, I give you these links:

Man Kills Houston Complex Manager, Self

Nurse Guilty of Dismembering Husband

Quantum physics says goodbye to reality

Two of World's Oldest Women Meet in Indiana

I don't know, but I'm thinking I might like to be one of those old ladies in that last article!!! Of course, as the quantum physics article states, apparently reality doesn'exist without us to observe it. I think I once stated in a previous post that maybe we're all in some elaborate computer game, and the plug could be pulled at any time.

So there you have it, more evidence of our mad, mad world.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

V.Tech Shooter

...achieved his goal: infamy, notoriety, and unending obsession by the media.

How else can anyone explain his huge, info-packed mailing to MSNBC received today? Isn't it entirely obvious? He wanted that minute of fame that so many in America crave, whether negative or positive.

Sure, he could be labeled insane, nuts, whatever...but to have the clarity of mind to plan his mass killing, do video/writings, photos and mail it prior to the slaying? To KNOW in advance the media feeding frenzy that would result? Methinks he was focused, intent, determined, and methodical (not unlike the 9/11 terrorists)... Is this insanity?

Or is that we are simply living in a mad, mad world?

I just wonder if seeing all the media coverage of the tawdry Anna Nicole saga is what finally drove him over the edge? LOL Seriously, when he wrote of debauchery in his suicide note, I couldn't help but wonder if he'd seen too much of that, as I, indeed, have.

As for the media, eat your hearts out CNN, CBS and ABC -- MSNBC hit the motherlode today! (sarcasm intended)

In news from the mundane of my life: I finally used the riding mower to mow the yard. I'm learning more as I practice, and it is going well. It took less than an hour, and I think it'll prove to be a task I can manage. And true, there is a sense of accomplishment, just seeing the lawn mown, and knowing I did it! Beats paying for it too!

I went on my bike ride earlier, and plan to take the dogs for a short walk later. Tomorrow I will go to the library, try to find some novels/fiction, which at least makes sense. Life, lately and unfortunately, does NOT -- and in fact, never has and never will. That is the SECRET all novelist know.

UPDATE: Just wondering about the shooter: there are vague references/snippets about physical abuse in his writings and I am wondering if any intrepid reporter has tried to interview his parents, look into this aspect? Or what about his theatrical play in which student characters attack/kill a teacher/professor who raped/abused them? I guess we'll all know eventually, via the media...but I have to speculate that there might be more to this than we currently know. {Or maybe his parents are busy negotiating the movie rights to his life story via a lawyer -- sarcasm intended}

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Past Revisited

The conflict I've always faced with my mother is that I feel torn between feeling sorry for her and anger at her past neglect/abuse. She is getting old, in failing health (serious, under Hospice care) and when I am with her, I feel compassion. Yet I also recall all the pain and horror of our childhood when she WOULD NOT get us out of that dangerous situation. And she could have, in one way or another. Living with a raging, violent alcoholic father, our mother always chose either her own safety or staying with him over her children. I cannot and will NOT forgive her for that. Ever.

As the eldest child, it was I who intervened and tried to save my younger sisters. So many, many times I can't even recall all those dark events. We were in serious danger of being killed by my father, on numerous occasions, and I've always wondered why it seems to be acceptable (for society/religion) to forgive parents who might kill us moreso than those dangerous strangers who might do so. We seek the death penalty for killers, and the fact that potential killers are your parents has no bearing on this fact in my mind. The simple answer is that a child needs to feel loved, no matter if the reality is that they ARE NOT loved -- at least NOT in a safe, protective way.

So that may be my ultimate conflict: That I cannot feel loved by my mother (nor father who died years ago), and cannot forgive them because of the abuse/neglect and lack of protective parenting.

Yes, we as a society are MORE aware of child abuse now than in the past. And Yes, there is progress in that more abusive parents/killers are held accountable for their actions. Still, there is no way to ever heal the wounds of a damaged child -- and no way to resurrect the dead children.

As I've grown older, and mother has to, I've found that all the grievances I had for her have come back to haunt me. I cannot look at her and NOT see all the pain she inflicted upon us children -- which only invokes fury. Mostly, I cannot bear to be near her any longer, and I have this awful premonition that I will not even attend her funeral.

In this photo below, she is standing at my step-dad's grave. She started dating him shortly after our dad died, and while my three younger sisters were still in high school. Instead of taking care of them, she was always on the phone with him, off on an outing, while my husband and I took care of the girls. You see, she had many opportunities to correct her selfish behavior, but she never did. It was always ALL ABOUT HER. And to this day, it's the same: She is living with one of my sisters after my step-dad's death (instead of going into the nursing home which would be paid for by medicaid since she had NOTHING after his death)...and causing all kinds of problems. In fact, today I learned that my sister's husband (with whom she is living) is having health problems, probably stress-related.

Mother has always thought that her children should take care of HER, instead of HER taking care of them -- from our births. Draw your own conclusions.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Virginia Tech Shooting

I had been busy all morning, running errands in town, and was shocked to hear on the radio about the Virginia Tech shooting spree. Horrible. Worst in this country, to date. But I've noticed that every new spree shooting (seen in timelines on the news) shows that the victim count continues to rise. It will be interesting to learn exactly what kind of weapon was used, since the shooter killed so many so quickly. He must have planned this with exquisite detail, leaving nothing to chance, and carrying it out precisely -- including his suicide. I have a nephew away at college, and it's easy to imagine how devastated the families of all the victims will be for a long, long time.

Otherwise, I had thought about mowing my yard today but it really doesn't need it just now. We are supposed to have rain tomorrow night, and after that, I guess the front yard will need to be mown. The back yard is still in good shape.

I went on my bike ride after returning from errands, then did some long-overdue housecleaning -- mopped the floors, dusted, etc. Yesterday my sister stayed all day with me while bro-in-law took his mother into Urgent Care since she was feeling sick. Doctor didn't think it was anything serious though. Anyhow, we had a great visit and the dogs loved having her here; Oscar sat in her lap almost the whole time.

Tomorrow she is returning, and we'll take mother to visit my step-dad's grave -- he's buried in a local veteran's memorial cemetery, since mother will be buried beside my father. Mother seems to be stable, but I don't talk to her as much; living with my other sister, she's in a chaotic household and with only one phone line.

The television I had in my bedroom went on the fritz over the weekend, so I'm looking for a replacement. I don't use it that much, but it's nice to have it on for company when I can't sleep. I'm debating between an LCD TV and flat-screen cheapie at Wal-mart.

I am becoming addicted to Twitter, since I can make constant updates about what I'm doing during the day/night. If you want to find out my latest, brief updates, do check it out at this URL:

Frequent Updates At Twitter

There's also a permanent link on my sidebar.

As for the post on snakes in potted plants, I'm not sure that was true, after all. I asked my sister, who sent it to me, if she was SURE it happened to her neighbor and she's checking into it. Quite possibly, it was a forwarded email -- and that is how urban legends get perpetuated. I may remove that post if I find out it IS a hoax, and I must say that looking at the photos, they seem a bit too posed: If I found snakes in a pot, I wouldn't be calm enough to take photos, I'd be killing those little monsters! LOL

Enough for today.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Snakes in potted plant

Just a brief word about the following pictures and a warning. One my sister's neighbors received a potted plant as a gift, and when she was taking it out of the pot to replant...she found that, apparently, a snake had laid eggs in it, and they'd hatched out! Yikkes! Here's the proof and a warning: be careful when repotting plants!

I have no idea how this happened, but it DID. Again, just be cautious when you are taking plants out of a pot. I know there are stories on the net saying this is a hoax and/or urban legend -- but this happened. In fact, looking on the internet, I read a few news articles about people being bitten by snakes in pots at the garden department of several large stores, such Wal-mart.

Rainy day, I'm doing some housecleaning, and hope to catch up on email later this afternoon.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

New camera photos

These are experimental first photos with my new camera -- which is a Samsung Digimax U-CA 5. Although I have a lot to learn about all the features, I'm impressed with it. Especially the movie-making aspect, since there's no limit on the movie length if you have a large capacity SD card (and I already had one I'd bought for the Nikon).

Anyhow, here's a few first pictures:

~~Rambo in his favorite chair beside my computer~~

~~Rambo and Oscar on their "doggie trail"~~

~~My new sofa in the living room~~

~~And the matching loveseat~~

~~Slinky, one of my bobtail cats~~

My sister has been here all day visiting, and we had a great time talking. Then took the dogs for a long walk in the nearby park -- Oscar and Rambo LOVE that! Also, my new sofa/loveseat are VERY comfortable, and I am glad I finally bought them. I did buy the riding mower from my sister today, and next up, a picture of it!

Must head out for my bike ride now, since we're expecting rain tomorrow and I want to get in a good ride before the storms.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Waiting for my digital camera

Yes, it's been way over a week since I ordered the camera on, and I have to say, I am NOT pleased with their delivery time. It was shipped UPS, and is out for delivery today -- so I should have it soon. The UPS truck runs late in the afternoon in my neighborhood. Still, that is slow delivery; always ships much faster. Oh well, live and learn.

Guess what? I have a riding lawnmower! One of my sisters/bro-in-law had this very small riding mower they were no longer using, since they recently bought a larger mower. They brought it last week, and I climbed aboard, and took a few spins on it. NOT like mowing at all, more like a joy ride! It's used, of course, and I'll get it at a big discount (as in cheap), but I do think I'll use this to keep my large yard mown. The guy next-door did an excellent job, and has almost a commercial size riding mower, but if you figure up the costs of a year of mowing (and we have loooong seasons here in the South), you could buy a NEW riding lawnmower for that price in ONE season.

I first looked into electric, battery-recharging mowers, but all that walking might have aggravated my knee problem. I don't like dealing with gasoline (heck, didn't even pump my own gas into the car for 3 months after DH died), and learning to use the clutch/brake, get the mower started is always a challenge. Yet it's not like I have a LOT of other work to do, and this will be something to save me money in the long run.

DH would never allow me to use his riding lawn-mower at the farm. When he used the push mower, I'd occasionally ask to try it, and after a few turns, he stop me and say that I was not "going in a pattern." He liked doing all that stuff, so I just never learned. But I am at least going to try to use this riding mower, see if I can manage it without too much physical repercussions.

I got out there this afternoon, started the mower up and finished the backyard. Bro-in-law had demonstrated when they brought the mower, and I did a few spins, but there was some left to mow. After a couple of false starts, I got underway and finished it. I had on long-sleeve blouse/pants and hat, but next time I'll wear safety glasses as well. It's a nasty job, because grass cuttings do blow back on you sometimes...and the eyes need to be protected. I also put out weed/grass killer all along the curbs/driveway/chainlink fence, house foundation and shouldn't need a weedeater. I don't think I could manage one of those things!

Otherwise, the cats and dogs are fine. We had very cold weather, and my fig trees, as well as the one pecan tree, were zapped by the frigid temps. I wonder how the farmers here dealt with the crops? I can't recall it being in the low 20s in a very, very long time in the April.

And that's it for today.

Monday, April 02, 2007


Okay, I admit it: I'm a pessimist, a realist. Always have been, always will be. My motto in life (and it's served me well) is: "Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst." Not a bad one-line philosophy for any human to follow.

However, I do believe that having nearly died at the age of 23 from what doctors (specialist galore) told me would never allow me to live to see 30...was, in fact, almost a galvanizing effort on my behalf to "spit in their eye." And now at 55, I would just LOVE to do that! LOL! Unfortunately, I've outlived some of the specialist, and some have retired permanently into obscurity.

I DID go through a horrible, suffering time for several years, and despair was my constant companion. I have always been somewhat depressive, melancholy (what writer isn't?), but fell into the depths of an abyss from which I could not climb out, no matter what. It didn't help that my husband, at first supportive, grew weary of the battle and simply vacated the premises. Not with a divorce, but in a career that only added MORE stress to a life/illness that certainly had enough stress already.

Then I read a book (oh yes, books can be saviours). I am not sure where I found this paperback book, for I was always reading and collecting books...but the title of it (which I still have to this day) is: "The Will To Live," by Arnold A. Hutschnecker, M.D. It is copyrighted originally in 1951, to give you an idea of how old it was even when I found it in the mid-70s. But in this book, a spin on our current "positive thinking" American culture, there were many passages I marked, re-read and practically memorized. In particular was this excerpt that I realize changed my life:

"Doctors have observed that people who have gone through grave illness in their youth are likely to live long and in good health. I had a friend, a respected writer, who in his seventies was in excellent health and mentally as keen as a far younger man. He had been a premature baby, always delicate, painfully aware of the contrast between himself and a robust older brother who was an officer in the army. As a child his chances of living even to middle-age were considered poor. Yet at seventy he was in sturdier health than any of his contemporaries. It is a familiar pattern, the sickly child who grows up to be a vigorous man or woman. There are biological explanations, such as the development of immunity. But there is also another possible explanation. Such an individual often makes a strong effort to overcome his bad start in life. The prospect of inferiority, of perhaps an early death, seems to galvanize the will to live in many small but significant ways. Such an individual takes better care of himself, conserving his strength for the things he wants to accomplish. He strives creatively to make his days meaningful since he may enjoy fewer of them than the average man. In time by these efforts he does in fact overcome his weakness, and he goes on to a life of normal length and better than average health and achievement."

This book's author, far ahead of his time, also is of the opinion that "STRESS IS A MAJOR FACTOR IN MOST ILLNESS."

I think when I first read this book, it allowed me to come out of my morbid idea of dying (as the doctors said I would) and determine to show them all I would LIVE. And LIVE well. At my young age of only 23, it was the very best prescription ANY doctor could have ever given me. And it has served me well, for I am now 55 and even against those doctor's advice, I stopped taking the prescription medications they said would save me (but caused so many ill side effects) and I am, to this day, ALIVE.

And yes, I did make many selfish, life-preserving decisions such as not having children, becoming creative with my writing, withdrawing from any and all situations that caused too much stress (making me a bit of a loner/solitary), and various alterations over the years that I know now were deliberate, conscious choices to help me survive and live longer.

A word of caution, though: I am not in any way equating youthful illness with aging and the kinds of incurable diseases we humans will all eventually fall victim to. You cannot stop aging, and I have always felt that cancer in those past 50 is simply an age-related disease. You can beat it back for a certain time period, some longer than others, but you cannot whip it -- because, of course, we all die of one or another age-related disease.

What made me think about all this is having just read Elizabeth Edwards book, "Saving Graces." While a lot of it seems highly sentimental and pathetic (especially having two children in her 40s because their first son died in a car accident), I did recall that book in my past. So I don't think hope is always a delusion; but when you are getting older, and you are aging and cancer/whatever disease is slowly but surely killing you, maybe there is a point beyond which "treatment" is merely another form of torture. In other words, YOU and YOU alone know when ENOUGH is ENOUGH. And when YOU say that it IS, everyone should respect your wishes. Who knows, as in my case when younger, you might live longer WITHOUT the kind of torturous treatment doctors prefer?

{As an aside, I'm reading fast and furious these days, and growing wise on this intellectual feast!}


A Postscript to this entry: Many say that the Edwards camp is trying to get the sympathy vote. I don't think that will work, if it's the case. And many say there's never been a political situation like this: HOW SOON they forget. Lurleen Wallace, wife of Alabama George Wallace, had cancer and died of it while in her term as Governor of Alabama. I have a book here, also one of those "old collector's items" entitled, "Lurleen Wallace, Her Crusade of Courage," by Anita Smith, copyright, 1969. I never liked George Wallace, but I totally despised him after reading this book, though some may have thought otherwise. But you see, George Wallace (once he couldn't run for Governor yet AGAIN) chose to run his wife as sort of a 'stand-in' or 'political puppet' while HE, in fact, would be pulling the strings. And when she was suffering/dying of cancer (no doubt brought on by YEARS and YEARS of stress simply having been married to good ole George) he was off conducting a political agenda. Then, of course, she died and he married a...well, Anna Nicole wannabe.

Now, I like John Edwards, liked him the first time around in his bid with Kerry. But I'm having second thoughts, especially after seeing Nightline tonight and hearing Elizabeth say that, basically, if she dies she expects her eldest daughter, Cate, to take care of her two youngest children (the ones she had in her late 40s to make up for losing the son in a car accident--and I don't hear any debate about her 'fertility treatment' maybe causing breast cancer either). But what a terrible burden to put on a young woman, an eldest daughter!!

I don't know, but I am thinking Hillary has better odds, and will get my vote.

Consider this a minor history lesson for the younger folks. And while you're at it, read this truthful, eye-opening article about false advertising in drugs and/or "preventative procedures" such as mammography:

A Manifesto for Truth-in-Mammography Advertising

By the way, I've never had a mammography, nor do I ever intend to do so. And so it goes...

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Tammy Why-not

Okay, so that is a poor twist on Tammy Wynette's name...but let's face it, she got married so often, I always called her that because if a man asked to marry her, I assumed she thought, "Why-not?"

I just read a book by her daughter: "Tammy Wynette--A Daughter Recalls Her Mother's Tragic Life & Death." Well, I can only say with a daughter like that, who needs enemies? I think Tammy's daughters were pissed they didn't get much after their mother's death. So they went after the only man who'd managed to "Stand by his woman" for 20+ years. Definitely a fascinating book, if only because it is interesting how the daughter comes off looking for all the world like a very resentful, angry child. In that aspect, I can totally understand her rage/wrath -- Tammy was hardly ever there for them when they were growing up, and apparently money (though it can buy nannies) isn't enough for a child to forgive and forget. So perhaps Tammy just wrote them all off, as they probably did her long before she died (and left the daughters practically nothing in her will). Ah, be careful what you write! (sigh)

However, one of the most fascinating quotes I've ever read about suicide was included in this book, regarding Wendy O. Williams, the lead singer for a punk-rock group called The Plasmatics (who actually performed with Tammy when she was trying to revamp her act). Here's the girl's words left after she committed suicide:

"For me, much of the world makes no sense, but my feelings about what I am doing ring loud and clear to an inner ear and a place where there is no self, only calm."

Oh how well ANY OF US who have contemplated suicide understand this statement. I'd just never seen it written so clearly, so perfectly to state EXACTLY what it is like to find life no longer worth living. A treasure of a statement!

Otherwise, we finally got some rain here. April showers have, indeed, arrived. It rained last night, and part of the morning; I went on my bike ride around noon, and it was cooler, somewhat misty...a wonderful ride!

I finally ordered a new digital camera, and it should be here sometimes next week. Can't wait to get it, since I want to take photos/video of the dogs. I am thinking of creating a YouTube site, so I can upload funny video of the dogs/cats. I LOVE making mini-movies, and sometimes the dogs do such hilarious stuff I can't help but want to share it with others via the internet. Lots to learn, but it should be fun. At least a distraction and new interest to keep me occupied.